Dear Men,


The truth is women are not as complicated as you would like to make us out to be. Oh, I know, and I hear you protesting now, but the truth is if we are complicated it’s because of you. Women are really quite simple, it is the failure of men to listen to the things that women want that make us seem difficult. Here is a list of some of the things women want. Once I have given you this sagely advice it is up to you to use it!

1. Honesty

If there is something that will ruin your chance with a woman faster than a concord can fly across the ocean, it’s a lie. We hate it. Now, when I say honesty, I mean honesty in all things, and if you are not prepared to be honest, then don’t bother wasting our time. We have memories that would scare the socks off of any database, and if you lie we will catch it, and THEN your life will be complicated.

2. Security

I don’t mean money. The truth is *most* women out there don’t give a crap about your money. What we do care about is your ability to make us feel safe. Your ability to be there for us when we need it, even if you can’t understand why there is a big wet spot on the front of your shirt, and we are sniffling in your arms. Even if you stare at us like someone handed you a screaming newborn and you don’t know what to do with it, we need you to make us feel secure with you and with the loopholes in life.

3. Loyalty/Fidelity

We’re women. We can find men who want to get into our pants 24/7. What we want is someone who cares more about us than getting into our pants. Don’t get me wrong, women love sex, well most do, and once you have our hearts you are in for some of the best sex you will ever get. However, let us hear you talking trash about that great lay to your guys friends, or let us hear about the stream of other women you have hanging around, and we’ll leave so fast your head will spin. Don’t use us. We can find men to do that all day long, and it’s not what we want.

4. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

You might hate going outside and having a picnic. You might hate opera, or show tunes. However, if this is something your woman likes, you should bend for her a little and suck it up a little to go out of your way to do these things for her. I can assure you women are never too proud or embarrassed to go to a sporting event they know nothing about in order to spend time with you, and that same sentiment should be reversed. It shows you care about her even if it is not something that makes you giddy.

5. Be Yourself

Women would honestly rather know right out of the gate if you are someone she can potentially be with. If you are not yourself, you are basically lying (see #1 AND #3) to her about the real you. The truth is women can handle flaws in you. We can respect that if we believe in abortion and you don’t that it might not be a good relationship. We can understand that if you want six kids and we want zero, that you are probably not a guy we need to date. The thing is, we need you to tell us these things up front so that we don’t waste our time and emotions on a guy who is not going to stick around in the long run. We don’t need the fluff to make us feel better about ourselves so that later on you can tell us you didn’t mean it. Be yourself. Would you want a woman who wanted you any other way?


Author: Jill Stewart

I am a 37 -year-old woman from Arkansas who is happily married to a Scottish immigrant aka “the hubby” “the hubs” or if I am calling him directly “YO YOU!” We’ve been married for 3 years and it’s been a crazy ride, and unfortunately our finances have been beat to death in the last few years. We have two dogs and a cat, no kids. The Blog- What’ll you find: Financial Information as we try to become debt free My attempts at working and trying to maintain a home to the standards I like My adventures in learning how to sew Arts and craft projects Funny tidbits from my life including living with a Scottish person, the dogs, and other oddball things that happen to me. What you won’t find: Much on children. I don’t have kids and I can’t have kids. Recipes- I don’t mind cooking, but unless it’s something really special, don’t come here looking for the weekly recipe! You won’t find it- unless you ask my husband. If you’re interested in what you see, please follow me on Facebook or sign up for emails! Most of all, leave a comment or ask a question! I am always happy to hear from you!

27 thoughts on “Dear Men,

  1. Please vote for me, edlives…and you can have a pirate mini anytime you want it….in fact, I’ll start of with a few…and then some.

  2. You know I agree with you And you know who I’d like you to vote!

  3. Spot on.

  4. The recommend and stars are because I agree with your post…along with this mini…

  5. @FreeeVerse – YAY!!!@edlives – You’re cracking me up dude.  Hilarious!@keensandmerrills – Glad you agree!

  6. @Southernlass – hey, you write some truth…real men need to listen and have a backbone.  Rock on.  Now I ask you to just vote your conscience, me or anyone…it’s all in good fun.

  7. @Southernlass – oh…snap…another mini is needed…sorry…

  8. I haven’t dated for 3 1/2 years partially because I haven’t felt like I was myself or could provide the security a woman needs. I’ve realized that I need to ask God to make me the person I need to be before I can find the person that’s right. Not that I have to be perfect but I just feel like God’s been telling me to seek Him more than seeking a lifelong partner. And I haven’t been as faithful in doing this as I need to be.

  9. Great post!!!Signature: Vote “danteCARAX” for Xangan Idol. =)

  10. this is a pirate that I’m giving you here…cause I couldn’t on my last comment on your pulse…(vote for me please?)

  11. @edlives – Hmmm you did have that kick ass n Connery impersonation…

  12. *nods* I tell everyone that hubbie and I are 100% honest with each other- and some people think that’s a bad idea o.o But I want honesty- because then I know there aren’t any secrets I should worry about. I like that about Men being themselves too- everyone should be themselves especially in a dating situation. I have honestly heard people say that it wasn’t them when they were dating- or it was the best version of themselves. Then they wonder why a marriage doesn’t work out. Go figure.

  13. @Southernlass –  yeah, thanks, it meant a lot that it sounded like him…from someone who deals with scott’s all the time.oh, here’s another pirate….

  14. I’m confused. I was taught by my last boyfriend that cheating was a way to show how much he loved because he’d always come back. What’s this loyalty stuff?

  15. @Southernlass – Actually, it was sweet when I’d catch him macking on another chick and he’d go, “I was totally thinking of you, baby.” Makes me smile warmly every time I think back on it.

  16. All of this is so true!  We (women) aren’t so complicated at all; I think we are much easier to keep happy than men are, even.  The problem is they (men) seem to have such a problem with this simple list of 5 things.  They always seem to fail in atleast one of these crucial areas.I hope you are feeling better…..I read the post below this one, too.  It said you have a fever.

  17. @ilsurvive – The thing is, when these big things are in line, the little things don’t matter so much.

  18. Honesty seems to be failures on either side of the gender coin.

  19. AMEN!  Lets hope those men out there will pay attention! 

  20. I agree with your points, but as a woman, I must say- we are complicated.

  21. Those are all good points but it is never that easy.

  22. @Southernlass – What I really meant to say is none of these points should be labeled has gender specific. These all apply to the foundation of any good relationship and should be applied to both parties. Not just how men should treat women, but how the couple should treat each other.

  23. I agree with the basic ideas in this blog 100%, but much of this actually applies not just to romantic relationships, but to friendships as well.  This makes perfect sense, as I believe that people should become friends first and a couple thereafter.  Honesty is a must in any relationship.  Security might seem like it’s just for those special relationships, but I try to be there for my friends as well.  Loyalty, too, is important in friendships as well as other relationships.  Comfort zone; well, my comfort is to take an interest in things my friends are interested in.  For some reason, that just seems natural to me.  All I really expect of my friends is that they be honest and be themselves.  So, while all your points are quite valid for romantic relationships, many apply to friendships as well.  MHO

  24. I agree but as a woman, I can honestly say lots of women say they want honesty, but when they get it from a man, they don’t take it well.  And I think all points go both ways too. I’ve seen lots of women trash men in the same ways. 

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