Things I have discovered since my separation


I have been living completely on my own since March 1st of this year for the first time in my life.  I mean, I didn’t always live with my parents, but I always had some kind of roommate situation going on.  I spent the last 7 years, 19 months, and 16 days living with my husband.  Well, give or take a month or two because we technically moved in together about 6 weeks before our wedding.  HEY!  When you find a property that will let you have a 120lbs. dog you take it when you can.

Anyway, it’s been almost 3 months of living completely 100% totally alone for the first time in my life.  I’ve discovered a few things that are both good and bad about it.

I love the fact that I can shut the bathroom door and have some free time without getting interrupted.  The bad side, there is no one there to instantly share an OMG moment with. (Unrelated to the bathroom OMG moment)

I can read a book in almost absolute silence.  Sometimes it is TOO quiet.

I can watch whatever I want to watch on TV, but there is nothing on.

I can sleep in the middle of the bed, but there is no one to throw my leg over.  The next morning I find myself cuddled up to a big wad of covers that I have tangled up in the night.

I can cook whatever I want, but no one else is there to say if it is good or bad.

I laugh a lot more, but there is no one to share that with.  Maybe I should borrow the parrot for awhile.  He giggles back at me, then I giggle at him, and it’s an endless cycle…

Guys flirt a lot more, but they don’t really want a relationship.

I blog a lot more, but the yard doesn’t get mowed!

And the worse of the worst:

I am free to start over (well mostly), and now I HAVE to start over.

Author: Jill Stewart

I am a 37 -year-old woman from Arkansas who is happily married to a Scottish immigrant aka “the hubby” “the hubs” or if I am calling him directly “YO YOU!” We’ve been married for 3 years and it’s been a crazy ride, and unfortunately our finances have been beat to death in the last few years. We have two dogs and a cat, no kids. The Blog- What’ll you find: Financial Information as we try to become debt free My attempts at working and trying to maintain a home to the standards I like My adventures in learning how to sew Arts and craft projects Funny tidbits from my life including living with a Scottish person, the dogs, and other oddball things that happen to me. What you won’t find: Much on children. I don’t have kids and I can’t have kids. Recipes- I don’t mind cooking, but unless it’s something really special, don’t come here looking for the weekly recipe! You won’t find it- unless you ask my husband. If you’re interested in what you see, please follow me on Facebook or sign up for emails! Most of all, leave a comment or ask a question! I am always happy to hear from you!

28 thoughts on “Things I have discovered since my separation

  1. I guess I missed the entry about you being separated

  2. As long as youre happy I think that is all that matters. Its better to hurt a lot for a little amount of time rather than hurting a little for a long amount of time.

  3. I have to agree with consenttotreatment, I hope you both believe that this is for the best. Sorry to hear that things didn’t work out.However, one thing you said scared me a little:”I love the fact that I can shut the bathroom door and have some freetime without getting interrupted.  The bad side, there is no one thereto instantly share an OMG moment with.”What kind of OMG moments do you have in the bathroom??? Hey, come quick, it looks like Elvis?

  4. I will be going through this soon too. I guess this is just a good opportunity to learn to be with yourself.

  5. @tx_christian – Yes Ma’am, I am. 😦@Consenttotreatment – Getting there again, hence the laughing more part.  Hoping the two of us continue to remain friends. 🙂@bosefius – LOL!!!  No OMG moments in the bathroom!!!  But no more conversations like this either:*hubby barges in*Me: . . . yes?Him:  It stinks in here…Me:  I didn’t invite you to my party!!!!!!!Him:  Where is X item? (or insert whatever random reason I needed to be interrupted during that time)Me:  *glare*

  6. @squeakysoul – You know, overall it’s not too bad, but there are *some* things I miss a lot.  I am getting a roomie at the end of June too, so that will help a bit…in a lot of ways!

  7. @Southernlass – The worse problem for me is the 4 (ok, 5 tomorrow) year old… “Daddy, when you are done, can you get me something to eat? Daddy, it really smells in there. Daddy…” The kids have their own bathroom, but whenever I have to go she decides it is time to have conversations

  8. @bosefius – LOL, now imagine the adult version…

  9. great list. at least you laugh a lot more. that’s saying something.

  10. @Southernlass – Wow, that would suck. Then again, my wife tries to talk to me about important things while I am in the ‘office’, then gets mad I can’t hear her over the fan.

  11. @happydeviant – I do laugh A LOT more.  I missed that about myself. 😦@bosefius – LOL, you and your wife crack me up.  *kidnaps you both*

  12. I think you are terribly brave.  I don’t know how I would do that… or if I could.  I suppose I would have too.Anyway, you are very brave and I look forward to your emergent journey as you crawl from your cocoon.x

  13. @sarahsD – Awww thanks!  It’s a tough road, but I think we are both doing ok with it!@authentic_black_dragon – Yes, Orly!!!

  14. If anything ever happened to Ian, I would be in the same boat. It terrifies me. Not only am I afraid of the dark, but even with someone there (my husband, or a friend, at least a warm body) I sometimes get creeped out. I have to force myself to get out of bed in the dark to potty. Maybe if I did live on my own I’d get over it- or learn to get past it. I hope, fervently, I don’t have to.I hope that not only is it a learning and growing experience but a truly GOOD experience for you! I’m sure I don’t mind the you having more time to blog bit. Afterall, I get to read the blogs and I don’t have to look at the unsightly grass 😀 The best of both! lol! *lots of hugs*

  15. @silkenbutterfly – *goes home to take pictures of her unsightly grass and posts them for silkenbutterfly*  There!  I win! ;)I creep myself out over the dark sometimes too.  I think I have been reading one too many horror novels late into the evening.

  16. I don’t like to be alone. I scare myself. I imagine noises into worse things than they already are. I need people. Even if I have to ignore them. just knowing they’re there . . .  lol

  17. @bethro78 – I need to quit reading Anita Blake before bed time.  It makes me all jumpy!!!

  18. @Southernlass – That’s funny. I never once had anita blake nightmares. Jurassic Park, yes. Vampires? no. lol  Although if I read too many of the Alex Cross series by James Patterson in a row, I get nightmares. He’s a homicide detective and those are much more “involved” than the Women’s Murder Club series.  I have serial killer nightmares from the Alex Cross ones. Thus feeding my irrational fear that I’ll one day be abducted by a serial killer. 

  19. @bethro78 – LOL!  I have actually listened to the Alex Cross stuff while driving to North Carolina…in the dark.  Overnight.  You want to talk about a creepy feeling when you get out at the truck stop!  BLEH!

  20. sounds like it can be rough living on your own.  My hubby and I have a lot of ups and downs but I dont know if I could actually make it without him.  Sometimes when it gets really bad, I wonder, but then we make up and all is well.  Best of luck with your situation.  I have to give you props for being able to live alone!

  21. This post hit home, as I separated last October. I read everything and nodded all through it. I did bring one of my sons with me, and it really helps to have the company.The loneliness is piercing but the sense of hope (for making life better, the way I think it should be) can compensate.Oh, and you want to talk about bathroom storie… imagine 11 people with a single bathroom! See this post for fun.

  22. LOL, I am interested in why you wrote you spend 7 years, 19 months and 16 days. 19 months is a year and 7 months… what is that all about? You can blog more? “Whoooo Whooooo……”

  23. haha yes, living alone definitely teaches you things… i always used to tell myself that if i lived alone, I would work out (because i have this weird social anxiety when it comes to working out)…i lived in my own dorm room last year…and working out happened only about 5 times in that room…so much for that idea!  i loved living in my own dorm room…but yeah, obviously living alone is WAY different than that.  also, i totally relate to the waking up with a wad of blankets…i’ve never had the boy to throw my leg around, but i get the feeling i will if i ever reach that point…til then, my body pillow and blanket wad will do fine.  🙂  sorry i haven’t done the audio challenge…its been crazy busy.  i’ve tried to get caught up with your posts though!

  24. @Zeal4living – You caught my typo!!!!!  should have been 9 months! XD  DRAT!

  25. I believe it should be 8 years since our eight anniversary was 5/13/08. I am glad you found your Lol’s.

  26. @digood1974 – But we haven’t been living together 😉

  27. You’re unchained! You’re free! Don’t forget to wear underwear!

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