What women do for men and what men should do for women…

100 Comments

Dear Men,

We the women in your lives would like to point out a few things that we do for you.  We wake up in the morning and drag our tired butts off to the shower.  We then proceed to shave.  While this may not seem like a big thing to men because men shave too, let’s talk about the difference there.

On an average man, the entire area of the body that is shaved is the face.  We are talking two cheeks, a chin, and a neck for those men who are blessed with burliness.  On a woman shaving entails both legs, the armpits, and possibly the girly nether regions.  This adds up to most of our bodies, and that is IF and only IF we don’t have hair on our tummy’s too.  We are talking about 1 square foot of shaving versus shaving the equivalent of a Great Dane.  (I only use the Great Dane because on average they weigh the same as a full-grown woman.)

Then there are the areas that can’t be shaved…not without making us feel like the most manly man out there.  These areas include parts of our faces.  These parts of our faces must be yanked out with wax or tweezers.  Let me tell you, I have had my belly button pierced, my tongue pierced twice, and two tattoos permanently etched onto my skin.  Having the hair yanked out of your upper lip on a regular basis hurts more than any tattoo or piercing I have ever received.

We also wake up in the morning and slather various chemicals on our faces.  Rumor has it, those different chemicals we call make up include anything from bat shit to placenta, oil, and other general stuff that can be just gross.  (Recapping:  I said rumor has it.  I don’t know if bat shit and placenta are still used in make up and I am too lazy to look it up at the moment.)

We wash and dry our hair, throw chemicals in it, and inhale some chemical lung trauma every time we pick up a can of hairspray.  We sit under hair dryers with our eyes watering from permanent solution, to keep curls for you.  We let people fill our heads with tin foil and more chemicals to give us those sun kissed highlights you like so much!  We use files on our feet to make them smooth, and inhale more stinky chemicals to paint our nails and toes to be attractive for you.  We use lotions and creams we wash and moisturize over and over so you can enjoy the feel of silky skin.  This is why we spend so much time in the bathroom everyday.

What do we ask in return?  Don’t tell us we “look pretty” when we go out of our way to look nice for you.  Tell us we look ESPECIALLY pretty, because women are already pretty every single day.

And don’t complain about shaving because we have a lot of stuff in the bathroom that is easily launched in your direction.

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Author: Jill Stewart

I am a 37 -year-old woman from Arkansas who is happily married to a Scottish immigrant aka “the hubby” “the hubs” or if I am calling him directly “YO YOU!” We’ve been married for 3 years and it’s been a crazy ride, and unfortunately our finances have been beat to death in the last few years. We have two dogs and a cat, no kids. The Blog- What’ll you find: Financial Information as we try to become debt free My attempts at working and trying to maintain a home to the standards I like My adventures in learning how to sew Arts and craft projects Funny tidbits from my life including living with a Scottish person, the dogs, and other oddball things that happen to me. What you won’t find: Much on children. I don’t have kids and I can’t have kids. Recipes- I don’t mind cooking, but unless it’s something really special, don’t come here looking for the weekly recipe! You won’t find it- unless you ask my husband. If you’re interested in what you see, please follow me on Facebook or sign up for emails! Most of all, leave a comment or ask a question! I am always happy to hear from you!

100 thoughts on “What women do for men and what men should do for women…

  1. @OfElection – See?  I consider brushing my hair as drain maintence.  That way there are less hairs that actually fall out in the shower!  I hope you find what you are looking for one day soon! 😀
    and ❤ the Army.  My brother is a Blackhawk pilot in the Guard!

  2. @Southernlass –  That’s funny. I hadn’t thought of brushing as drain maintenance, but rather as hair beautification.Don’t know if I’ll be able to find anyone soon, I’ll be leaving the States later in the year, and when I separate (from the Army), plan on taking a job in an industry  where you travel a lot. While I don’t believe that environment would be conducive to a family, it is possible.Pilot, huh? That means he’s a Warrant Officer. That would be a fun job, but I really like my specialty.

  3. @OfElection – Yeah I think he is a WO2 or something.  I can’t keep all the military abbreviations straight in my head.  He came home from Iraw using 3 letters for just about every word in his sentences.  I started at him like he had grown a 3rd head.
    You’ll find someone!  We all do eventually 🙂

  4. Women’s English—————————

    <li>Yes = No
    <li>No = Yes
    <li>Maybe = No
    <li>I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
    <li>We need = I want
    <li>It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
    <li>Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
    <li>We need to talk = I need to complain
    <li>Sure… go ahead = I don’t want you to.
    <li>I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
    <li>You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
    <li>This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
    <li>I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
    <li>Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
    <li>I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
    <li>Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
    <li>How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
    <li>I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
    <li>Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
    <li>You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
    <li>Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
    <li>Was that the baby?=Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
    <li>I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
    Men’s English:———————-

    <li>”I’m hungry.” = I’m hungry.
    <li>”I’m sleepy.” = I’m sleepy.
    <li>”I’m tired.” = I’m tired.
    <li>”Do you want to go to a movie?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
    <li>”Can I take you out to dinner?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
    <li>”Can I call you sometime?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
    <li>”May I have this dance?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
    <li>”Nice dress!” = Nice cleavage!
    <li>”You look tense, let me give you a massage.” = I want to fondle you.
    <li>”What’s wrong?” = I don’t see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
    <li>”What’s wrong?” = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
    <li>”What’s wrong?” = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
    <li>”I’m bored.” = Do you want to have sex?
    <li>”I love you.” = Let’s have sex now.
    <li>”I love you, too.” = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!
    <li>”Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.” = I liked it better before.
    <li>”Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.” = $50 and it doesn’t look that much different!
    <li>”Let’s talk.” = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person so that you’d like to have sex with me.
    <li>”Will you marry me?” = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
    <li>(while shopping) “I like that one better.” = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!

  5. @Southernlass – Oh, okay–then I agree.  Out-of-the-way nice = ESPECIALLY pretty, regular-type nice = pretty.

  6. @Southernlass – It is pathetic how many abbreviations we use in the Army. In fact, it makes you start looking for a way to abbreviate something.I wish I had the same confidence. Maybe I already have and passed her up. Not likely though.

  7. @Southernlass – Oh yeah, there isn’t a WO2, that would be CW2. There are WO1s though.

  8. Geez, I wish there was a way to remove hair permanently or at least in way that didn’t cause it to grow back longer and thicker!

  9. @Southernlass – If they can pull off looking natural, then most definitely!

  10. I’ve always been thankful for a clean shaven lady and make my appreciation known.

  11. haha, this is really cute. absolutley love it. especially the shaving part. 

  12. pretty true, haha funny

  13. *sigh* Women never get enough credit for how much work it takes to look fabulous everyday =/Fascinating post!

  14. @makneale – I’ve seen that little ditty before.  Cute 😉
    @ChrisRusso – Correct 😉
    @HoneyNutRoasted_Dao – YAY!  *gives you a cookie* for being a smart man! 😉

  15. @juicynewss – Thanks!
    @Jeszie – Glad you liked it!
    @etherealgoddess – You mean like 2 runs over the entire head of thick hair with a flat iron this morning just to look presentable? /sigh
    @jenlibeans – Thanks a ton!

  16. I’d agree… but I don’t like the idea of “competition between the sexes”.  They key is just people in general appreciating each other case by case.  I appreciate that he wipes his ass thoroughly.  He appreciates that I’m not mustachio’ed like him.  Give and take.
    Still, fun entry, lol.

  17. @nimbusthedragon – The only competition listed here is the shaving one, and women win that one 😉

  18. i loved these:  “Tell us we look ESPECIALLY pretty, because women are already pretty every single day.  And don’t complain about shaving or I’ll knock you on the head with my used up razor collection!”
    to be honest, from everything i can tell, most guys (the good ones, anyway) don’t care one way or the other if we do all of that.  as long as we retain our general girliness -like having boobs, shaving, having boobs, having hips, and having boobs (the boobs part was stated three times on purpose)- it doesn’t seem to matter all that much.

  19. I like this quite a lot. Good job. =]

  20. Whilst I appretiate what you have to say…
    I feel that this pressure for a ‘clean’ appearance isn’t derived solely from men, but rather a female-self-consciousness perpetuated by the society around them.

  21. @lil_dragonfly88 – I am glad you quoted those sections in particular.  Those were the whole point of he post. 🙂 
    @xUnicornLandx – Thank you and glad you dropped by!
    @danteCARAX – Aren’t men part of society?  Nothing is derived solely from one other thing.  If we want to talk about the pressures society puts on women that would be an entirely different post.  But, since you think it is society let’s chat about that.  What does society show women?  That thin, well dressed, clean shaven, beautiful haired women are the women that the nice guy wants.  So if we want a nice guy, we follow the guidelines given to us by society in order to catch…a man!  However, the point of THIS post was quoted by a commenter right above you.  She hit the nail on the head. 🙂

  22. my boy won`t even brush his teeth twice a day :[

  23. @k_cakes – Ummm ewww!  Tell him to fix that ASAP.  Bad teeth seriously gross me out!

  24. girls have tummy hair?
    but nice article

  25. Nice blog but to be honest I don’t agree with the men making women do this. 

  26. @cappucinos – Some do yes…not that “I” would know….or keep it around for long….but I wouldn’t know.  Seriously.
    @desertwarrior08 – What do you mean?  You mean that women don’t do it for men, or you don’t think women should do it for men?

  27. for a person who hates shaving, even those two small areas of chin and neck, one thing I always thank god is that I am not a woman, I really hate shaving and I can’t imagine shaving almost everyday  areas you have mentioned.Trust me all you need to get me say you are pretty is smile..hair or no hair does not matter that much

  28. Goodness, I love you!Yeahh for telling it like it is!Amazing weblog keep up the good work. 😀

  29. @xXLovelyDreamerXx – Thank you!  I am glad you enjoyed this!

  30. You just won my heart.

  31. I dunno how I missed this.

  32. @sarahsD – It’s an old entry!  I think you stumbled across my site after that. 🙂

  33. Great post.I am one guy who prefers little or no makeup on a woman.The problem is finding a woman willing to go without.This put a smile on my face and made me think too.Thanks.

  34. Haha that was an amazing post. In fact, I do believe that I’ll be showing my Zachary when he gets back into the room.  

  35. I admit, us men are worthless, which makes me ask why ANY woman puts up with us. However, just because you do all those things doesn’t mean ALL of us are incompetant bumbling idiots that do nothing for the women we love. I think my fiance looks best when she’s not trying to look amazing. And I do believe that some women appreciate men like that.Yes, men only have a few things to do in the morning to groom themselves. Shaving is among them. In order, this is mine, Shower, Shave, Brush, Dress. Miniscule I know. Remember though, most of the time, women wont get under the hood of a car, even to put in oil, something that isn’t even messy. I pulled my fiance’s car apart this past weekend and tried to show her how to replace her starter motor. NO GO!I guess my answer is, women do things for men. And even though we don’t go to the lengths you do to look good to our mate, we do things to help them feel comfortable looking good. We work on cars, we do the plumming, most of the men bring home the bacon (This past statement is becoming politically incorrect and sexist). WE WORK! I guess what I’m saying is that, men are stupid, and don’t realize how hard women work to look amazing for us after a hard days work to bring home the money that lets them buy the thing that makes them look pretty. So miscommunication on both sides.

  36. @onebadlemming – I really truly think you missed the entire point of this post!  And for the record…I know how to change spark plugs, and do other minor repairs to my car too.

  37. @Southernlass – I didn’t miss the point. I know that women go to the great lengths to look good. But just because you go to great lengths doesn’t mean that men don’t notice. We just don’t really know how to express ourselves, so instead of saying, “Hey, you look amazing” we change a starter, or redesign a house. I’m done…

  38. I love how u tell what they should do instead of what we women should do

  39. I LOVE YOUR BLOG…IT IS SO TRUE!!! WE GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO LOOK GOOD FOR OUR MEN AND IT IS SO UNDERAPPRECIATED!!!

  40. First and foremost, I’d like to disagree with all the comments that are saying men are stupid. The entry is from a woman’s point of view, which I quite agree with, but I’m sure she wasn’t implying that men are stupid. Clearly, that is bullshit. Most men do not try and spend time in a woman’s point of view because he’s too busy being a guy. If both genders understood eachother’s point of view, I don’t think we’d have much of problem dealing with relationships.Now, onto the entry. I completely agree with this. A lot of women have to spend time and energy into making themselves more beautiful than they already are. They also have to endure all sorts of pain in the process.There are going to be guys out there who say that if you don’t wear make-up, you won’t be beautiful. There’s many types of guys out there. There’s guys out there who are incredibly nice but you wouldn’t consider dating and it goes to guys who are complete assholes but you just can’t bring yourself out of the relationship. Every guy has a different preference.The only thing that really matters to me is shaving. As much as I hate to say it, I like it when a girl shaves. It’s my preference. Other than that, I like natural beauty. Just like women, confidence is an attraction to me. If she doesn’t feel like doing her hair, make-up, or anything, that’s fine by me. If she wants to eat a lot of fattening foods, that’s fine by me because I like a girl with meat on her bones as long as she keeps herself under control. But the truth is, there’s a lot of guys out there that are like me. They usually don’t care what you do with your body. The truth is that you don’t HAVE to do anything. Everything is based off choice. Don’t feel like taking a shower? Your choice. Don’t feel like doing your hair? Your choice. Like I said, there’s different types of guys out there…but you should NEVER EVER try to go beyond yourself to impress people unless it was really for YOUR benefit. Your life is about you and not anyone elses.*EDIT*Males do their share, women do their share. It’s not a fair share, because it’s no doubt that women go through more shit than men do, but it takes two to tango.

  41. My philosophy is men should shave too.Partially because I dislike body hair and partially because if us girls have to do it so should they.I’m growing my leg hair out to wax it for the first time…. pretty gnarly.

  42. AMEN to that one sister. ^_^

  43. @FreeeVerse – Other than the shampoo / conditioner part, I completely disagree with you. My wife has never worn make up as long as I’ve known her, and it makes her far more beautiful. And it’s not just me, she has had many guys interested in her over the years. Make up and hair spray and highlights, and nail polish are all really unnecessary. Plus, all that crap just makes it worse. You put on make up to cover up the zits, and it just gives you even more zits. I’m sure that girls try to go without for one day and have a bad experience, because their bodies haven’t gotten rid of all the damage from the chemicals yet. If they can last a month, then they might see it turn around.Plus, your self-esteem will go way up if you feel beautiful with out the make up. I think there’s a big psychological thing going on when you put make up on every day. It’s like telling yourself that you need to be ashamed of how you naturally look everyday. You don’t need to be. Girls are far more beautiful without it. Plus (for a third time), most girls put way too much make up on and they look like whores. Sure, there may be some that do it well and it’s not that noticeable, but it’s like 10%. As far as I can tell, there are another 10% that look awesome because they don’t wear make up, and then the other 80% look gross because of the make up. Girls as a whole would be much better off with out it. Have you ever noticed how many guys try to get girls to go camping after they’ve dated for a bit? It’s not because we want to have hot tent-sex (okay, well that may be part of it), but it’s because we want to actually look at your actual face for once. So you’d better not bring your make up when you go camping.

  44. @TheNumberScott – Funnily enough, I completely agree with you, and no, I’m not trying to be sarcastic. Unfortunately, you’re a rare one. So thank you for being like that to your wife – I just wish I can say the same for other men. Granted, I know of a few who are like you. But really… I can count them on my fingers and toes.

  45. @brandon32490 – I am glad you realize I was not calling women stupid!@TheNumberScott – Hun, I don’t wear make up unless I HAVE to which is why I wrote the post.  I do take care of my nails and hair, but no make up usually.  That is why I wrote this.  When I put on make up, don’t tell me I am “pretty’ I am already pretty, I am just especially pretty with make up, and mine is NEVER whore-ish.

  46. @Southernlass – That reminds me of another point. Why do girls feel the need to put on make up for special occasions? Do you wake up that morning and say “wow today is such a big day, I’d better make my face look horrible”? I’ll say it again, it is so rare that a woman looks better with make up on. Do yourselves a favor and throw all that crap away. I see so many women who are beautiful everyday, and then on their wedding day they feel this need to get all gussied up, and they look awful. I mean, do you ladies realize how much time and money you’re wasting on that crap? And almost everyone looks worse with it on! If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to make sure she knows she is beautiful for who she is, and no mask can make her more so. I just wish more women in the real world would realize the same thing.Maybe I really am the exception to the rule, but I don’t believe I am. I think that if you polled men on whether they would prefer women to wear make up, a majority would say no. When we put a hand on a woman’s cheek, we want to feel the softness of skin, not something gross.

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