We the women in your lives would like to point out a few things that we do for you. We wake up in the morning and drag our tired butts off to the shower. We then proceed to shave. While this may not seem like a big thing to men because men shave too, let’s talk about the difference there.
On an average man, the entire area of the body that is shaved is the face. We are talking two cheeks, a chin, and a neck for those men who are blessed with burliness. On a woman shaving entails both legs, the armpits, and possibly the girly nether regions. This adds up to most of our bodies, and that is IF and only IF we don’t have hair on our tummy’s too. We are talking about 1 square foot of shaving versus shaving the equivalent of a Great Dane. (I only use the Great Dane because on average they weigh the same as a full-grown woman.)
Then there are the areas that can’t be shaved…not without making us feel like the most manly man out there. These areas include parts of our faces. These parts of our faces must be yanked out with wax or tweezers. Let me tell you, I have had my belly button pierced, my tongue pierced twice, and two tattoos permanently etched onto my skin. Having the hair yanked out of your upper lip on a regular basis hurts more than any tattoo or piercing I have ever received.
We also wake up in the morning and slather various chemicals on our faces. Rumor has it, those different chemicals we call make up include anything from bat shit to placenta, oil, and other general stuff that can be just gross. (Recapping: I said rumor has it. I don’t know if bat shit and placenta are still used in make up and I am too lazy to look it up at the moment.)
We wash and dry our hair, throw chemicals in it, and inhale some chemical lung trauma every time we pick up a can of hairspray. We sit under hair dryers with our eyes watering from permanent solution, to keep curls for you. We let people fill our heads with tin foil and more chemicals to give us those sun kissed highlights you like so much! We use files on our feet to make them smooth, and inhale more stinky chemicals to paint our nails and toes to be attractive for you. We use lotions and creams we wash and moisturize over and over so you can enjoy the feel of silky skin. This is why we spend so much time in the bathroom everyday.
What do we ask in return? Don’t tell us we “look pretty” when we go out of our way to look nice for you. Tell us we look ESPECIALLY pretty, because women are already pretty every single day.
And don’t complain about shaving because we have a lot of stuff in the bathroom that is easily launched in your direction.